I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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