I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
