Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
