we're chasing vodka with high fives
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
