And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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