That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
