New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
