I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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