Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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