Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We talked him into tasing himself.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
