Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
