Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
