He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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