She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
