Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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