This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
