sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
