: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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