Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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