I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
