It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
