In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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