I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
