Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
