All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i think i just lost a toe
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How naked do you want me to be?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
