I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
