I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
