"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just high enough for therapy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
