It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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