Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
