her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
