I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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