I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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