Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
