Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
send nudes
from the living room?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
