woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
