The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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