Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
