think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
