butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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