drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
