For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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