I am spending my child support on dildos
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
