Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize