3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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