I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
