i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
