i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
