She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
