i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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