Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
