My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
