I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
