Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
