we're chasing vodka with high fives
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
