We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
