the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
