whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
