she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
