No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize