I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
