You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize